Finding Out Baby's Gender Ahead of Time

Some people want to preserve the mystery. Others can't stand not knowing. My wife and I fell into the latter category and I'm glad we did.

I had a feeling our child would be a boy. She thought it would be a girl. As with so much else in our marriage, she was right and I was wrong. For once, though, I don't care.

Coaching my wife through the pain, hearing her cry out after the woefully inadequate analgesics had worn off, and concentrating on her comfort during seemingly endless contractions took all of my attention while she was in labor. I was so focused on her that it was only a chance look at her obstetrician that reminded me why we were here - the baby's head had emerged and the OB said, "one more push, one more push... it's a girl!"

My daughter's insistent wailing filled the air. In that moment, I forgot about my wife. Heck, my wife forgot about my wife. Despite her exhausted state, she gasped and murmured, "we have a baby." All I could do was stare at that crying little infant and for the first time, the words "my daughter" popped into my head. I felt such a flood of relief and joy that I slowly exhaled and for several seconds forgot to breathe back in.

For us, not knowing the gender in advance prevented some of the biases that might have otherwise crept into our planning like decorating the room in pink or loading up on sports-themed baby outfits.

Although if anyone has a lead on diapers with the New York Yankees logo on them - on the inside, of course - please send me a link.

I cannot now imagine any other scenario. I cannot imagine how I would feel had my child been a boy, although I doubt my emotions would be any different than they are now. And I don't want to. I love my daughter.

That's all I need to know.

Got Her Home Intact

Back from the hospital. Very tired: Mom is exhausted and napping, Dad is in the office next to the crib, watching his little sweetheart doze. The baby is doing reasonably well, although her weight loss is a bit more than her pediatrician would like. We're going back for follow-ups tomorrow and the next day.

I'll follow up with a more proper blog entry in the next day or so, once we're more settled.

She Has Arrived

Our daughter was born at 11:34AM yesterday. Baby is healthy, mom is recovering well.

Life is good. Confusion will doubtless follow.

The Breast Pump

I have to admit, I find this device intimidating. I imagine there are some men who would happily sign right up to use a machine that attaches itself to a sensitive part of their anatomy and then sucks bodily fluids from it. But after seeing it in action... I don't know.

It's innocuous enough. Ours looks like an empty airhorn with a grammophone top and was, I thought, horrendously expensive... until I started shopping around. I've discovered that breast pumps, like anything else related to parenting, is an industry unto itself. There are kits for these things, entire pumping systems, each more expensive than the last. I believe I'm in the wrong line of work.

As for the pump itself, there's a large trigger mechanism along the top that activates it. Plug it in, use the battery, or use the manual pump. Any one of the three will get things flowing. So to speak.

Once it's going, the nipple is gently pulled into the grammophone top (which Avent calls a "sealing disc" but I like "grammophone top" better), released, pulled in, released in a regular rhythm. You could set a metronome to it. In, out, in, out, in , out... Like I said, some men might find it... titillating.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Anyway, the pump runs quietly on electric mode, which is good. If it were too loud, we'd limited in its use to time when the baby was awake. And mobile babies are often hungry babies. Manually expressing milk, while silent, would probably fry our wrists in an awful hurry. Even though my sweetie will be at home for the time being, she'll likely be teaching the occasional night class at the local junior college. And since *I* can't express milk, the pump should prove quite useful in preparing for those evenings when she won't be around.

So we now know how to use the pump and have assured ourselves that it works as advertised. I've also read that stimulating the nipples can encourage labor by releasing oxytocin. Pitocin, which is a chemically identical manufactured version of oxytocin, is used to induce labor so perhaps this will bring some regularity to the on-again, off-again contractions my sweetie has been enduring for nearly a week. My only concern is the warning that excessive nipple stimulation might lead to too much oxytocin release, resulting in overly powerful contractions that can harm both mother and child.

With that in mind, we tested the pump for perhaps three minutes before stopping. Better to suffer a few more days' pregnancy than risk harming our child.

But haven't we suffered enough?