Sleeeeeeep...

It's not that the baby doesn't sleep. She does sleep. A lot. She's slept 16 hours in the past 24. You'd think that with the average adult needing only 8 hours a night, this would be no problem for her intrepid parents. But she doesn't do it all at once. And it's making us a little crazy.

We're very lucky in that I'm on summer vacation and able to help with the daily routine. Being a public school teacher doesn't pay much but if this time with my daughter is the trade-off, it's worth every penny I'm not making. I'm able to do the little things with her: feed her, bathe, let her fall asleep in my arms. Even changing her diaper is nice to do, if only because it means my still-recovering sweetie doesn't have to do it all herself.

The constant activity, though, leaves little time for a solid block of sleep. We're like doctors on call, only doctors actually get off call every now and again. Neither my wife nor I can imagine how single parents do it. Or, for that matter, how married couples without an external support system manage.

I've read in several places that children place a huge strain on a relationship, especially if that relationship wasn't terribly strong to begin with. I can see the wisdom firsthand in that. My sweetie and I talk constantly, work together, plan together, and are as much a team as we can be and we still have disagreements, exacerbated by lack of sleep. How it must be for couples already having difficulties I can't fathom.

I'd keep writing but I'm sleepy and actually getting to go to bed. Goodnight.

Feeding Mom

There are many benefits to breastfeeding: breastmilk contains everything the baby needs, it costs nothing (technically), it's absorbed so efficiently that solid waste is rare for the first few weeks, and it stimulates the production of oxytocin in the mother which helps her uterus shrink back to its normal size. Good things, all.

Here's one more: the mother needs to eat more.

My sweetie and I didn't know this until after our daughter was born but in retrospect, we should've guessed. Producing milk burns calories, which means my wife has to eat about 500 more of them above her normal daily requirements. That's 2,500 calories a day. That's a lot of ice cream.

Usually, we eat as healthy as we can. Lots of fish and lean poultry, fresh vegetables, fruit, whole wheat pasta, and rice are our staples. I indulge in corn chips to go with my mother-in-law's killer homemade salsa - the recipe is a family secret so don't bother asking - and have a handful of M&Ms when the chocolate craving hits. My sweetie's weakness is cheese. Unfortunately, the markets in our rural community can't match the variety you'd find in a major city but she's usually happy with what's available. Beyond that, though, we don't splurge much.

The problem - if you can call it that - with our diet is its bulk-to-calorie ratio. We eat a lot but much of what we eat is naturally low-calorie. Filling up doesn't break the calorie bank, which is great... most of the time.

There's a second problem my sweetie's been having, one a bit more serious: just when she needs to be eating more, her appetite has been suppressed. We don't know what's causing it. She's simply not as hungry as she used to be.

It might be a post-partum re-tuning of her digestive system or a function of the chronic fatigue that comes with having a newborn in the house. We don't know. Neither does her doctor, who urged my wife to force herself to eat more even if she's not up to it. Her body has only so much in reserve and the milk has be as fortified and nourishing as she can get it.

We're going grocery shopping in a couple of days. Our hope is to find some things that are high-calorie but still relatively healthy. Things like nuts, avocados, and fatty fish might fit the bill. I'm open to other suggestions, the cheaper the better.

If her appetite were good, my sweetie would be in heaven. Our pantry would be overflowing with cheese, fruit, and ice cream. Ah, the sacrifices we make for our children. Unfortunately, we have to tinker with the formula a bit. It may mean eating some things she doesn't quite like but, after all, baby comes first.

Someday, baby will learn to bring breakfast to her mother in bed. Someday very soon.

What to Pack for the Hospital

The nurse who taught our birthing class gave each couple a list of things we might want to pack to bring to the hospital when the time came to deliver. The basic philosophy was that it's better to have things you don't need than need things you don't have. As it happened, we had a lot of things we ended up not needing.

A quick check online reveals numerous checklists of items to tote along when headed for Labor and Delivery. Parents.com, A Healthy Me, and The Labor of Love all offer fairly comprehensive packing lists of what you might want to bring.

The most important thing to remember is to have it all packed ahead of time. My sweetie made sure we had everything packed by Week 36 which meant that by the time her labor started, we could simply grab our stuff and go. If you throw it all together at the last minute, you risk forgetting any number of things.

In the end, we ended up not needing a lot of the things we brought. Our pack of playing cards went unopened. We played only two of a dozen or so CDs. The box of cereal bars I'd brought along as a snack is even now in like-new condition. I have to admit, though, that some of these went untouched because her labor went a lot faster than anyone expected.

Some other things we brought proved invaluable. My sweetie said that she found the music - for which we'd purchased a cheap portable boombox from Wal-Mart just for the occasion - very effective for soothing and concentrating even during the peak of transition labor. The camera, of course, saw heavy use. I even took a picture of the placenta... not that I'm going to post that anywhere. For a snack, I'd packed a bag of leftover popovers as well as the cereal bars and the home cooking was much more enjoyable in the hospital than the pre-packaged bars would've been. And having several changes of clothes came in handy as we stayed in the hospital three days and two nights.

Finally, I had to run back home for three items we didn't think we'd need. First, the breast pump. We're breast-feeding our daughter but she had some early trouble getting anything out of my sweetie's breasts. The pump helped get the colustrum flowing and the nipples a bit perkier for easier latch. Now, a few days later, she's still pumping since milk production has ramped up and is making things a bit uncomfortable for my sweetie when she sleeps.

Second, gym shorts. For me. I don't bother with pajamas unless it's winter but I realized too late that I don't like sleeping in jeans and plodding around a public hospital in my boxers wasn't exactly dignified. A pair of mesh gym shorts quickly solved that problem.

Finally, our laptop computer. We'd initially decided to leave it at home rather than risk having it lost or stolen. My in-laws live an hour away and were present for the birth. My parents, though, live overseas and I have have other family scattered across the map so we were able to use the hospital's free wireless internet and do some online videoconferencing so show off the newest member of the family. If your hospital has high-speed internet access and you have a computer with a camera, I strongly recommend bringing it along. My parents were so enthralled with their first grandchild that my wife and I joked about leaving the camera trained on our daughter while we went for a long walk.

The key to packing for labor is to pretend you're going on a trip where you'll be out of touch for a while. Bring your own entertainment, your mobile phone, your own music. Pack light and pack an extra outfit or two in case you're stuck in the hospital longer than expected. And if you have friends willing to run errands for things you need, take advantage of the offer. Because once the baby's here, there's a lot of work to do.